The myth - Part II
women should be struck regularly, like gongs.
Noel Coward , Private Lives, 1930
Imagine a woman whod just been gang-raped by ten men.
Imagine her inert in a pool of blood leaking from the battered
and torn most private part of her; gashes, scratches, bites
marks, bruises from punches and other blows riddling her body.
Her spirit at deaths door, begging her body to follow
and just walk on through.
Well its come to me that if such a woman were to turn
to her assailants, all still leering and each considering
if he should have a second (or third) go at her, and she said
to them simply, Youre all bad men for raping me,
her attackers and, sadly, many another man to boot, would
accuse her of man-bashing.
See, women are not supposed to ever see anything
wrong or bad about men and speak up, out, against it.
No matter her intention, no matter that shes trying
to put a stop to atrocities, evil acts, horrid things thats
hurting people the self-same perpetrating men includedsuch
a woman will be deemed a man- basher and man-hater.
As though shes not also trying to protect the one in
five boys who will be sexually molested by men before the
age of 18.
As though shes not trying to make younger men aware
of the pitfalls of sexism, thereby that they might avoid repeating
the sins of the (many) fathers whove gone
before themsins that landed those fathers in jail, in
destitution, inhabiting terribly scarred soul-places.
Mind you, everybody else can bring up the suffering of their
people at the hands of others and not be deemed bashers.
Jewish folk anguishing over the horrors of the holocaust?
Not seen as German-bashing.
Blacks lamenting the suffering inflicted upon slaves? Not
seen as Caucasian-bashing.
Indigent people crying out against the wealthy worlds
policy to keep the rich getting richer and the poor getting
poorer? Not seen as elite-bashing.
Also, when we consider the typical things said about womensuch
as the opening quoteand compare it to the types of things
often termed man-bashing, we should realise this much, How
In a world where its still widely advised that a man
should beat his woman to show her whos boss,
calling a wife-beater a wife-beater is seen as man-bashing
while the formers not seen as woman-bashing. This is
Its as though by trying to protect women, girls, boysAND
men, too, dammit!from the baser aspects of other mens
sexism-conditioned actions, a stand-up woman is seen as more
of a bad person in the eyes of larger society
than the rapists, robbers, kidnappers, murderers, bigots she
speaks out against.
This, clearly, is a great wrongnay, injustice inflicted
It is sending conflicting messages to younger generations
of men about right and wrong. For if a young man constantly
hears that male wrong-doing isnt really wrong-doing,
but merely hateful women mouthing out with man-bashing innuendo,
he will never come to fully identify what is wrong. Worse,
he will never learn to himself stand up against wrong. Can
you spell c-r-i-m-i-n-a-l?
Its sickening to hear men (and the traitorous or ignorant
women who do it, too) use the word bashing to refer to simply
speaking the truth about the negative things far too many
men doth wroth.
Whats sickening is the inaccuracy of the extremity of
the word when one considers what bashing really looks like.
Rape victims most often can lay claim to having received a
bashing. As can homosexuals beaten to death by a bunch of
As can people of colour molested by racist skin-heads. As
can South African Blacks flogged under Apartheid. As can the
latest victim of a brutal robbery in Trinidad.
As can the suffragists truncheoned in their attempts to win
women the vote. As can Gandhis peaceful resistance followers
clubbed during Indias struggle for independence.
As can children spanked to death by abusive parents.
As can the list goes on and on.
No one who has a clear understanding of the word bashing,
no one whos actually seen or can fully imagine what
the end results of an actual bashing looks like, would ever
again choose to apply the word elsewhere but where its
They would realise that to do otherwise would not only be
belittling the impact of the word, but also would belittle
the pain, suffering, injury, death of the victims of literal
Be BREWing again Sunday!