Thursday 28th April, 2005

Philip G Rochford
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Asking explodes your success

“You’ve got to ask. Asking is, in my opinion, the world’s most powerful and neglected secret to success and happiness.”

—Percy Ross, philanthropist/millionaireAsk

You are holding yourself hostage by not asking for what you want? Do you only ask for things which are not a risk or threat? Your success can explode if you dare to ask, although you may be rejected or looked upon as outrageous. Are you afraid to ask for fear that you may be looked upon as needy, foolish or stupid?

When you are afraid to hear the word “no” you are rejecting yourself before you put the question. If you want something and you do not ask for it, the answer is “no.” If you ask for it and you are told “no,” you are no worse off by asking the question, other than your ego being bruised.

However, the answer may be “yes” and you generate another link in your chain of success.

I have accomplished many of my goals, but my life has not reached exciting heights that were possible. I did not ask for fear of rejection or being obligated to others. Obligation in the sense that if you gave me something I asked for, you will expect me to accommodate your request, although it goes against my values and principles.

This has limited my achievements. Awareness of the issue is half the problem solved. I am on the road to overcoming this limitation.

Why ask?

You do not ask for the sake of asking. You do not ask through greed or because you do not want to put serious effort in your life. You do not ask because you want to get something for nothing.

You ask as a means of fulfilling your life. You ask as a means of getting breakthrough results. You ask to generate significance in your life and that of your family and community. Your asking should focus in areas that lead to achieving the goals you have set for yourself.

To achieve your purpose in life you have to encourage others to buy into your vision. Your purpose is to learn, grow, and be fulfilled. Every person does this differently because of individual uniqueness—uniqueness of vision, talents, formation, competence, potential, training and experience.

However, whatever you want in life requires the support or co-operation of others. You are interdependent as all your needs cannot be provided by yourself. Even when you are financially independent, other people provide the goods and services you want.

Your interdependence demands that you ask for what you want. Consider what happens in your typical day. How many times do you have to make a request for something or of somebody? Some of the asking have become such unconscious habits that you do not even consider them to be asking. Examine what you ask for at home and at work as an initial enquiry into your asking.

Look at your life, purpose and desires. Construct a conscious system of asking discerning questions that will connect to the success that you want. Remember that success is merely achieving the worthwhile things that you want. Thus, if you need help to achieve particular aspects of your goals, ask for the help.

How to ask

Everything in life has a technique or skill that underpins it. The construct of asking is no exception. There are four elements that support effective asking:

Let there be clarity in your asking—no ambiguity.

Believe that you can get what you ask for.

The person you ask must have the power and authority to deliver your request.

Be persistent in your asking.

Your request must not only be clear, but specific. When a request is vague it produces vague results. When you are specific you can then assess whether your request is being favourably acted upon.

For example, if you are asking for a promotion, knowing precisely what post you are aiming at is critical. It is not sufficient to ask that the human resources department promote you because you deserve it.

The Holy Scriptures advise “ask and you shall receive.” You need to ask in faith believing. Thus, you must internally believe that you can get what you ask for. Have no doubt about whether you deserve what you ask for, or whether you are capable of handling what you ask for. Otherwise you sabotage yourself and reduce your success in determining a positive response to your asking.

Ask the appropriate person. The person to whom you make a request must have the ability and authority to deliver your desire. The first consideration is that a person cannot give you what he does not own or have or is in charge of. Direct your asking wisely.

You may not receive a positive response the first time you ask for something. Do not let this daunt you. In some matters you have to ask repeatedly before you are successful. A well-known example is that a person may not be successful at the first attempt to woo someone of the opposite sex.

Be not afraid of hearing “no” over and over again. In certain circumstances persistence in your asking delivers success.

Les Brown, author and motivational speaker, tells his story of persistence when he was a young man. He wanted to be a radio announcer but had no training for the job. Les approached the manager of a radio station but he was not employed. Les returned to that manager day after day until eventually the manger gave him a job as an errand boy.

His persistence paid off and the rest is history. Les eventually became a radio announcer at that same radio station.

Take risks

To achieve success you must not be reckless, but do take risks. Do not let your fear of rejection or getting “no” for an answer stop you. Resolve to ask daily for one thing which, if obtained, will take you a step nearer to achieving one of your life’s goals. Go for it. Ask and be blessed.

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