meggie awards, which started in 2002, give us the tongue-in-cheek
opportunity to look back at the year and recognise those
who made the news.
With these awards we salute those who made our jobs here
at the Guardian interesting with their achievements and
Love them or hate them, these were the newsmakers. Well
let our journalistic objectivity slip for a moment and tell
you what some Guardian feature writers really felt about
those who graced our pages.
And the winners are...
* The Old School But Still Happening Award
There are some old school artistes who are,
no matter how the years go by and the music evolves, able
to stay with it and draw fans from the younger generations
while maintaining their older fan base.
* The Empress Award
Jeanille Bonterre for her startling transformation from
Barbarossa It girl to rootsy MTV Tempo Sistah.
* The Mash Up Award
For the year 2005, these are the entertainers who mash
up the party.
* The Goat-Mouth Award
Adesh Samaroo, who got into a near-fatal car crash after
having a 2004 hit song called Rum Til I Die.
n Nice Song, But Enough Already
A great song that would have been better remembered if it
were abused less.
WinnerOrdinary People, John Legend.
David Rudder sang it, Desperadoes played it and Stevie Wonder
* Best Kept Secret Award
There are some artistes billed as the biggest ever
and yet, somehow, when they are actually happening, no one
seems to know about them. Hmmm.
* Time to Throw in the Towel
There are some entertainers who may need to take a serious
look at their work and the course of their career and ask
themselves this critical question: Is it time to retire?
WinnerRonnie Mc Intosh (Honourable mention: Blue Ventures)
* Say What? Award
SS Melobugs shout-out to the crowd at the 2005 Chutney
Monarch competition: Are there any alcoholics in the
house? Raise yuh hand if youre an alcoholic!
* Say What? Award (part deux)
Singer Shurwayne Winchester who, when asked by the
media how has crime affected him, explained that following
the bombing in St James, three fetes he was scheduled to
play in buss.
* The Hip Hop Hopping Award
DJ Hypa Hoppa who was chased off the stage by no less than
eight-time Grammy nominee Kanye West when TSTT brought the
hip hop artiste for a concert here on December 22. Hoppa
broke into Wests act to encourage an encore when West
shouted to him twice: Get off the mic.
* The Hot Stuff Award
Bunji Garlin, who proved he would do anything, even set
himself on fire, to win the Soca Monarch title.
* Best Fashion Trend
* Worst Fashion Trend
The return of tropical prints. Oh, and those tacky rubber
* We Like Your Style Award
This honours the celebrity whose personal style is slammin,
sexy and sophisticated.
MaleKees Dieffenthaller for his unusual jackets.
FemaleDenise Belfon for her curly mohawk.
* The Janet Jackson Award for Wardrobe Malfunction
Destra Garcia for the rip in the crotch of the pants she
performed in at Alison Hinds concert. (A male patron
pointed it out to her, by the way.)
* Hoax of the Year
Basdeo Pandays wannabe Nelson Mandela jail stance.
* The Dubya Award for Foot in Mouth
Patrick Manning for his Mr Big comment; for his crime
is temporary comment and the comment on using the
Tarouba stadium as a shelter in the event of a tsunami.
* The Bridesmaid Award
Winston Dookeran, who was elected to, but has yet to assume,
the post of leader of the UNC in Parliament.
* The Ah too fraid to give you ah Meggie
* The Rugrat Award
Robin Montano for his continuous whining about everything
* Mamaguy of the Year
To the Members of Parliament who showed up
at the Breakfast Shed in their suits to eat lunch as a show
of solidarity to the workers who were forced to close up
shopto facilitate the waterfront development, a government
* The Board of Censors Award(A tie)
To the organisers of the Hurricane Katrina benefit, for
scrambling in vain to do damage control after rapper Kanye
West uttered the most controversial: George Bush does
not care about black people.
To CNNs Wolf Blitzer, who noted that the New Orleans
victims of Hurricane Katrina were so poor and... so
black that it would raise many questions. Indeed,
* The I Cant Believe Its Not Jesus
U2 frontman Bono for his continued efforts to save Africa
by seeking aid from G8.
* The Smooth Criminal Award
Michael Jackson for being miraculously acquitted of multiple
child molestation charges.
* The To (Not) Catch a Thief/Kidnapper Award
Minister of National Security Martin Joseph.
* Best Duo in a Non-Action Crime Sequence
National Security Minister Martin Joseph and Commissioner
of Police Trevor Paul.
* The Money Down the Drain Award
The multi-million-dollar blimp bought by Government to assist
in solving crimes; and its twin, which arrived on Christmas
* The Case for Public Flogging Award
The bomber behind explosions in the capital city.
* The Judas Iscariot Award
David Nakhid for flying to Bahrain to consider a job offer
with the countrys junior football team weeks after
he was dismissed from the T&T Football Association and
weeks before this countrys World Cup qualifier with
Bahrains senior team.
* The Alta Award
Brian Lara. The best batsman there is, Brian Lara, demonstrated
that he was lacking in the literacy department when he signed
a bat to freedom fighter Nelson Mandela, whom he called
...a man that have inspired the world.
* The Its Just Not Cricket Award
To Jabloteh coach Terry Fenwick for elbowing a striker from
105FM W Connection while he was celebrating a goal he scored.
* The No-Speeka-de-Ingles Award
The Filipino pharmacists.
* The Hole in the Bucket Award
The entire Fire Service for those waterless hydrants they
seem to be bouncing up these days.
* The Disaster Unpreparedness Award
Prime Minister Patrick Manning, who dismissed
the nations employees twice in one week: once for
the first set of bombings in Port-of-Spain and, days later,
for the arrival of Hurricane Emily. Mr Mannings statement
caused panic and massive traffic jams across the country.
* The Margarine Award
Anil Roberts, who is spreading himself thin as a columnist,
radio host and star of advertisements and his own sports
talk show on TV.
* The Bee Gees Award for Staying Alive
* Quote of the year
father hasnt seen the sun in days. Mikela Panday,
on her fathers jail time.
* The Tongue-tied Award
Not since the term Al-Qaeda has a name been so troublesome
to pronounce for those in the electronic media. What is
the correct pronunciation for the country Bahrain? Local
commentators had several: BAH-Rain, Bak-rain, BAHArain,
Burr-rain, Baaa-reign, Boo-rain.
* The Gratuitously Litigious Award
Seeram Maharaj, the pundit who got hit by the tree and then
decided to sue the Government. Uhm
eh? Also, the Port
Authority hauliers who wanted to sue Government in a pre-emptive
strike during recent troubles between the port and TTMA.
* The Dont You Wish You Lived in Laventille
To all the residents in those Westmoorings towers who tried
to sell the multi-million-dollar condos in the aftermath
of the Asian tsunami.
* The Know when to Fold Em Award (A tie)
To UNCs head honcho-elect Winston Dookeran for not
being able to take what is his; and to not-quite-through-being-boss
Panday for not knowing when hes not wanted: YOURE
FIRED, Bas! Deal with it!
* The Showtime After Dark Award
To Patrick Manning for his exceptional bit of advice to
women in San Fernando East Constituency that they should
cut down the number of children they were having by watching
more television rather than having sex.
* The Golden Meggie goes to
PM Patrick Manning.