Sunday 11th June, 2006


Consider consequences

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Sincere thank you for all the responses and words of wisdom stemming from last week’s article on infidelity. It appears that in spite of the Aids epidemic and all the other ills associated with having more than one sexual partner, infidelity is alive and well.

Now, it is not only alive with our men, but many women have adopted an attitude of “if you can’t beat them, join them.”

Ladies, I don’t have all the answers to this problem and I don’t think that infidelity will stop, but I do feel very encouraged when I think of certain couples that I do know that have managed to maintain very excellent relationships because they have been faithful to each other.

These couples claim that the most important ingredient is not love, but respect. They believe that if we practice true respect for each other, then our relationships will be based on open communication and trust, not on betrayal and deceit.

I also think that it is time, ladies, to take more control of your own lives. Be determined to set your own goals; educate yourself and strive for balance so that you will not be completely devastated if disappointment comes from an unfaithful partner. You will find it easier to cope if your own life is filled with a good support system and other personal and professional interests.

Below are two responses from readers who want to share their own words of wisdom. We thank them for taking the time to respond. Their names have been withheld.

Reader 1

The Lord is the only person who knows what’s best for us, and you will find that in life, some people will tell you do and don’t, give in.

In the end, it’s between you and your God!

To my sisters out there ... let Go and let GOD do the rest!

Reader 2

I had to reply to this article because it touched kind of close to home, not me per say, but close enough. I think if she is willing to forgive and forget and sincerely try again, and he is also willing to give up on this outside relationship and seeks counsel, then they can put it behind them and move on.

If he is not willing to let go, then my advice to her is to run for her life because I know of a situation where a couple was happily married. They had their quarrels, but were still happy. The wife however, suspected

infidelity in her husband.

She never found out the truth because she died after becoming suddenly sick. He is now living with HIV.

My dear, think about the long-term consequences. Yes, you may have to end your marriage, but you won’t be the first or the last.

Think about the situation I just explained. Think about how your children will feel then instead of losing one parent, they’ll lose two.


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