Sunday 24th December, 2006


Single at Christmas

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By Camille Bethel

For some people, not being in an intimate relationship, especially around the holiday season can be difficult. And then there are others who feel that there are benefits to being single.

In the UK, for example, where an estimated 14 million people are single, many of these singles subscribe to a Web site called singledom where they receive a ring which signifies and celebrates their singleness.

This week, WomanWise took some time to find out how local singles view being unattached during the Yuletide season.

Debbie Macalle*, who has been single for the past few years says she usually has lunch with her mother on Christmas Day which she plans to do again this year.

“It has been that way for the last couple years. I don’t go searching for places to go during this time of the year because although I am single, I’m not desperate. I am prepared to wait until I meet that special someone before getting involved in a relationship,” said Macalle.

She says she enjoys the season and she still decorates her home and does Christmas shopping for family and friends.

“Honestly, I’m comfortable in my own skin. I love my independence. I don’t have to ask anyone to go anywhere. When I feel like going out, I can come and go as I please,” she said.

Then there are those who say the option of spending Christmas with relatives can be both a blessing and a curse as they can be a great source of comfort, but can also be a reminder of what’s missing.

Marina Lazzier*, who has been single since last Christmas, is one such person.

“Christmas will be spent as it was last year: with my family, but I know that seeing family and friends with their loved ones will be difficult, especially around this time while I’m alone,” said Lazzier.

Yet, she is determined not to let the fact that she is single get in the way of her enjoying such a festive time.

“Although I am going through physical and emotional pain, I intend to make the best of the Christmas season. I have a comforter in God, not to mention having one gift less to buy and tremendous possibilities of being given more than one by my male friends,” Lazzier said.

Paul Metzier*, who has been single since his girlfriend migrated four years ago, plans to go it alone, as he has done for the past four years.

“There are people I could visit, family and friends, but it just isn’t the same. Christmas just isn’t the same as when she was here. Christmas has lost all of its joy,” said Metzier.

He still plans to shop and deliver presents to his relatives whom, he said, he doesn’t want to be affected by his decision to celebrate the festive season alone.

“I have a huge family, so I plan to do the usual shopping, but I just can’t bear to be around them on Christmas Day knowing that I’m not going to be good company. So I’ll stay at home and watch movies and sleep,” he said.

Metzier’s relatives have realised that this is a time he prefers to spend on his own and they have been very understanding about it.

“Besides, Christmastime, is the only time I get to rest,” he added.

Several other singles agreed that not having to spend lots of money on expensive gifts for a significant other is a plus, but it surely does not ease the loneliness of not having someone to share their love with at this time of year.

* Names have been changed.

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